F-A-T. To most of us, it's one thing that we don't want to become or rather one thing that we wish we weren't. That word, when associated with our pitiful selves, makes us depressed, brings us down, makes us slaves to unimaginable things like one-week diets and weird kinds of exercise machines. It squeezes the lives out of us, it SUCKS. It sucks like Linda Lovelace in the movie Deepthroat, it sucks like Heather Brooke in I Deepthroat and it sucks like just about every other pornstar out there (male & female).
But, please don't get me wrong, I'm not talking about F-A-T in the context of looking at yourself in the mirror and telling the mirror it's lying, when you jump around in your room alone and finding out that you're not the only one or rather, the only thing jumping and you're not that all comfortable with having sex with the lights on; for the record, I don't have that problem, and being fat gives you a reason to be a social excuse.
Now, imagine this,
Looking from afar, you see it shine, you see it's glimmer and you can tell from all corners of your eye that it, itself is quite a distance. Blood rushes to your head, you're thinking of all kinds of things but you just can't put a finger on which one of your thoughts makes the most sense. You laugh it off, you tell your friends and they all say you're crazy but in your head, you know you're not. As you walk closer, you see it clearer and it's only plain to you that you're not gonna let anyone stop you. You reach out your hand to touch it. It doesn't feel warm but its not cold either. It's slippery, and it gets your adrenaline pumping. Your knees start to give way and you start to feel funny. As you're looking at it, you know that there's only one simple word to describe it, F-A-T.
That's right,
I'm talking about the FAT PIPE. It's so FAT that it takes the joke " your momma's so fat that when she jumped for joy, she got stuck" to a whole new level. Only few that I know of have attempted it, and every single one of them hurt at least one part of their bodies, they all had a hard time and ITs taking the life out of them, laughing at every failed attempt. IT laughed a hard and intimidating laugh that most packed up their bags and left. IT was frustrating, IT was the mother of all frustrations and IT thought IT had left them all for dead, EXCEPT one..... yes, one. The One who didn't give up, The One who was patient, The One who suffered minimal damage and The One who came up with a deadly strategy against IT. Yes, The One finished IT off in one swift motion, never looking back, staring right ahead. In front of maybe 6 or 7 woodpushers he did it and boy oh boy did their cheer for him. It was an amazing feat and word got spread around...fast. IT was finally beaten, and The One did it.
Now, this is just a story that happened millions of centuries ago, but its a story that should be told to kids out there to not be afraid of IT and that the spirit of The One will always watch over them. Do not be afraid kids, go out there, get hurt, consume alcohol and smoke your life away, do whatever it takes to overcome a certain challenge. When you're faced with a tough obstacle, remember The One and know deep in you heart that you can be just like him. He watches over you and know that he'll be there to protect you against similar things. Love him and be loved by him.
To the rest,
IT is waiting for us on Saturday.
-ImB ( The One)